


Janeway Lambda One: The Missing Chapter

by typoqueen



Series: Horror on the Holodeck [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Captain Janeway, F/M, Holodeck, gothic horror, holonovel, horror story, janeway lambda one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29414136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typoqueen/pseuds/typoqueen
Summary: Set some time after The Persistence of Vision, Janeway receives an unexpected (but not unwelcome) visitor to her holonovel, Janeway Lambda One.
Relationships: Chakotay & Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Janeway/Chakotay
Series: Horror on the Holodeck [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173701
Comments: 21
Kudos: 59





	1. The Narrative Unfolds

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been a huge fan of gothic literature, and Lambda One always reminded me a bit of Turn of the Screw (creepy kids and whatnot). I wanted to write an ending for this holonovel, but also include a few stolen Janeway x Chakotay moments that would have been interesting to see in a horror type setting. It's not finished yet, so I'll be putting it up piece by piece!

Chakotay was heading back to his quarters alone after dining in the mess hall. It had been a long day, but as tired as he was, there was something he couldn’t quite get off his mind. The day before, he and Captain Janeway had been talking, and he’d forgotten everything she said. He’d been tired and somehow got caught up in watching the curve of her jaw as she spoke, and the way she crossed her legs on the sofa in her ready room. It had been an important conversation, but somehow he just hadn’t heard it. In any case, needing to update himself on their important conversation was a good excuse to stop in and see her. 

“Computer, locate Captain Janeway.”

“Captain Janeway is on Holodeck Two.”

When Chakotay arrived at the correct holodeck, he tried to compose himself, wondering how he would explain to Kathryn that he was interrupting her leisure time with ship business. But then he realised, if he was going to interrupt for the sake of getting to talk to her, then ship business didn’t matter anyway, and he might as well play into her holonovel a little. That way, the story wouldn’t be too damaged by his presence and she could simply carry on the fun after he’d gone.

“Computer, which holonovel is playing right now?”

*****

Janeway adjusted the heavy skirts of her somewhat restrictive gown, shifting uncomfortably in her seat while she watched little Beatrice carry on with her cross-stitch. Henry was reading his book by the fire, which was crackling away in the hearth, its flickering, orange glow casting a warm and delightful feeling on the room. Templeton was also nearby, sipping tea and eyeing Beatrice while she sewed. It would have been a comfortably subdued- even relaxing- evening, if she weren’t so preoccupied with her damned corset. Some way down the hall, Kathryn could hear Lord Burleigh’s footsteps marching closer, the sound of his shoes hitting the tiles reverberating through the old manor house.

 _How did people ever live like this,_ she wondered, looking around the room. It was enormous, and the ‘real deal’ version of this house all those centuries ago would have taken so much energy to heat. And besides the energy consumption, Janeway was appalled at the expectations such people had for women. She was glad that there were many centuries between her life and the life that many women had had back then.

 _It's funny_ , she thought, _I bet in a few more centuries people will have the same thoughts about the way we live now_.

“It’s not as pretty as mother’s,” Beatrice chirped, interrupting Kathryn's train of though to offer the governess a glance at her embroidery. She sounded forlorn but still hopeful, perhaps, that Kathryn - or rather, Lucille Davenport, as she was known in the holonovel - would approve.

“It’s lovely, dear,” Kathryn replied, offering a gentle and heartfelt smile to the young girl. _But my god, is this boring. Plenty of victorian authors liked to take their time with the narrative- I suppose a holonovel based on that period of classic literature would do the same. I’ll have to advance the plot somehow. I need to find out what’s behind that door on the fourth floor_. “Now, how about we get you two to bed before your father complains I’ve let you stay up too late again, hm?”

“Alright,” Beatrice sighed, standing up and dumping her embroidery unceremoniously on the chair behind her. “Come on Henry.” 

As the girl stood, Lord Burleigh’s footsteps rounded the corner into the room. The children seemed to hurry a little as they saw him and Templeton gave a polite nod. Kathryn turned to greet her employer, but stopped for a moment, surprised, to see her first officer standing there in Burleigh’s attire.

“Forgive me for the intrusion, I just wanted a moment of your time,” Chakotay apologised, clasping his hands behind his back and smiling at Kathryn with that sort of knowing smile he had. He watched as her surprise melted away and she sank back into the character she was playing in the holonovel. 

“By all means, Lord Burleigh. I was just about to put the children to bed and then I shall be free to give you all the time you require,” Janeway replied, hiding her surprise and amusement by playing into the character with the utmost respect and dignity.

“Perhaps Mrs Templeton could take them upstairs, for now.” Chakotay offered up the solution with a nod towards the housekeeper, who promptly ushered the children away towards the hallway.

Janeway waited until the children and housekeeper were out of the room and then gave Chakotay a stern but playful look.

“It’s my night off, Chakotay. What do you want?”

“I wanted to ask you about our conversation last night.”

“Which part?”

“Well, I will admit I was tired and didn’t take it in.”

“I knew you weren’t listening,” Kathryn teased him. “I was filling you in on some of the data B’Elanna had interpreted from yesterday’s away mission. Why was it suddenly so important?”

“Well, I realised I had a bit of extra time this evening and I wanted to make sure I was up to speed before my shift tomorrow. And, truth be told, I was curious about what you’ve been getting up to in here.”

“Well, you certainly look the part,” Kathryn smirked at him, bordering on salaciousness, but reining herself in. She wasn’t stupid; she knew his question could have waited til the morning. It was clear to her that Chakotay was here for another reason, and whatever that reason was, she was certain he could use some downtime on the holodeck as well. He may have been intruding on her leisure time, but at least he looked good in Burleigh’s clothing. “Well, thank you for being so dutiful, but there was nothing in B’Elanna’s report that requires your immediate attention. I’d dismiss you to go and enjoy your evening, but since you’re here, and you’re dressed for the occasion... Stay a while?”

“Gladly,” Chakotay replied, grinning widely. “Interesting holonovel, but I thought you would have quit it after what happened with them last time.” He gestured behind him in the direction of the children and housekeeper.

“Yes, that was rather disturbing,” Janeway agreed, recalling the hallucinations she had experienced which involved the children and the housekeeper in different parts of Voyager. It had been a harrowing experience, and not one she wanted to relive any time soon, but she'd reminded herself that it wasn't the holograms' fault. And besides, there was still the mystery to solve and the romance with Lord Burleigh to conclude. “But I’m not one to quit. I have to see how it ends.”

“You do like to get the job done. Well, I’m glad I checked out the program before coming onto the holodeck. I’d hate to have spoiled your… sewing lesson?” He gestured to the half-finished embroidery Beatrice had left on the armchair.

Janeway laughed. It was the same restrained laugh she always offered up when one of her officers amused her. Very rarely did she ever give herself over to a full belly laugh, but such is life when you’re the Captain. It was just as she was laughing, that an eerie noise echoed through the house around them. It was strange- a sort of tapping noise that was followed by a soft, drawn out crying sound. Perhaps someone gently knocking on a door and sobbing. Both Janeway and Chakotay stood perfectly still opposite one another, with their heads tilted slightly to the side to listen to the noise.

“I think that’s our cue to continue with the story,” Kathryn stated calmly. 

“I’ll follow your lead, Captain.”

“While I’m in this god-awful dress, _Lord Burleigh_ , you’d better call me Miss Davenport. This way- follow me.”

“As you wish, Miss Davenport,” Chakotay assented, again with his little smirk that he could barely keep off of his face whenever he looked at her. If playing along with her holonovel meant getting to spend time with her off-duty, then he was all for it. 

The first officer followed his Captain through the shadowy hallways of the manor house, which were lined with dark wooden panelling and portraits. He wondered if Kathryn was purposely walking past the candles on the console tables along the corridor, and whether he should pick one up to light the way. He refrained, as if waiting for orders, and just continued to follow her through the corridor and towards the entrance hall. When they stopped, Janeway pulled Chakotay close and began whispering to him.

“We have to be quiet so we don’t disturb the children. But from what I’ve gathered, there’s something hidden on the fourth floor. There’s been odd occurrences in the previous chapters of this holonovel and I think the intent is to figure out what’s going on and solve the mystery, so to speak.”

“And how do we do that?”

“We investigate.”

“And then what?”

“Well, it would seem that Lord Burleigh and Miss Davenport are fated to be married and live happily ever after. Last time I was with him he confessed his love for Davenport- it was all rather romantic. Don’t worry- I doubt we’ll get that far tonight,” the Captain laughed, and turned away from Chakotay again, not wanting him to see the look on her face. A look which would have utterly betrayed her true thoughts on the matter, which were that while kissing Lord Burleigh had been nice, it would have been ten times more appealing if it were Chakotay. And now here he was. As tempting as that seemed, however, Kathryn decided to focus on the matter at hand.

The hall had opened up into a great foyer, and now the stairs loomed above them, fully cast in shadow. Janeway caught Chakotay’s gaze and ushered for him to ascend the stairs with her. As he caught up to her and they walked upwards side by side, Kathryn put her petite hand on his shoulder, as if she thought he needed reassurance. It was a small gesture, but it made Chakotay’s heart beat just a tiny bit faster, and he was sure Kathryn’s was too. But perhaps that was the adrenaline from creeping up the stairs in a haunted house in the pitch darkness- and it was even darker when they arrived on the fourth floor, given the distinct lack of candles or gas lamps. 

Janeway looked around, giving herself a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the dim light. She could feel Chakotay close by, and reached out in the dark to locate him. The Captain’s fingertips brushed against the hem of Chakotay’s sleeve and she allowed them to slip towards the palm of his hand. He reacted quickly, like he’d been waiting for her to touch him, and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Chakotay wouldn’t say he was scared, exactly, but he was certainly on edge. The first officer was intrigued, as well. This wasn’t a holonovel he’d have chosen for himself, but now he was here he was invested in the story. 

“I’m right behind you,” he whispered, his soft voice dissipating in the thick darkness around them. 

“I know,” Kathryn affirmed, and pulled him with her to press on down the dark corridor. She had almost expected him to pull away from her to maintain their professionalism, but she'd always said to her officers that they could relax around her on the holodeck. A smile crept across her face as she allowed herself to become acutely aware of the way his hand felt against hers. Kathryn was suddenly glad for the darkness, that he couldn't see her grin. “Here,” she whispered when they reached the door at the end. “This one.” 

The Captain reached out slowly, almost hesitantly, until her fingertips made contact with the doorknob. It was cold to the touch, like ice on her skin, and she shivered. The door, or something beyond the door, seemed to creak slightly. It heaved like it was an old tree being rocked by a storm, or like… like it was breathing. Kathryn pulled back from it, alarmed. Suddenly, there was a sound from inside the room-

_Tap - tap - tap!_

And the sobbing again, muffled.

_Tap - tap - tap!_

The Captain and her first officer were both poised, listening intently. The crying grew louder, but still seemed so far away. It was a shaky cry, wracked with forced breaths that sounded painful. It chilled both Janeway and Chakotay to the bone. Someone was grieving.

Chakotay rested a hand on Kathryn’s shoulder this time, as if to offer his assistance again, although he knew she’d rather do it herself. Janeway steeled herself and reached out again, firmer this time, and more determined than ever to open that door and find out what had startled her. Her fingers grasped the doorknob tightly, ignoring the biting cold that seemed to tunnel through her flesh and into her bones, and went to twist it without hesitation.

But despite putting her hesitation aside, Kathryn’s hand met resistance; the doorknob wouldn’t turn at all... 


	2. Like Memories Drawn In Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janeway and Chakotay explore the forbidden room on the fourth floor, trying to discover what is hidden in there. Will the ghosts of Burleigh's past allow them to uncover the secrets concealed there?

“Damn, it’s locked. We need the key!”

“Ah, this key?” Chakotay asked, reaching a hand into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and retrieving a long, thin, brass key. “I wondered why that was there when I had the replicator make Burleigh’s outfit. Essential to the narrative, it seems.”

“Indeed,” Janeway nodded, and took the key from him. Sliding it into the lock, she took a deep breath and turned the key. The mechanism clicked; the door was unlocked. 

“What do you think is in there?” Chakotay asked, his imagination running wild as he noticed that the crying and tapping had seemed to have stopped. Whatever it was, it knew they were there now, and was probably listening out for them. All he could think about were ghosts and demons and evil spirits, dark things lurking in darker shadows and clawing at the other side of the door. Chakotay imagined a universe not unlike their own, but submerged in terror and insidious desires, blackening anything that dared to touch it. Perhaps there was something sinister in there, and by unlocking the door they were letting it out.

“A cat?” Janeway replied with a short chuckle, casting Chakotay a quick glance with a raised eyebrow before turning the doorknob and letting the door swing open into the room. It smelled like dust and damp, and the air was cold and heavy. The coldness seeped out of the room like a cup overflowing. It filled their lungs and chilled Kathryn’s fingers to the bone. She took a deep breath, steeling herself to enter the dark room and gathering up her skirts so they didn’t pick up the dirt and dust from the floor. 

The answer that Kathryn gave was so logical and reductive, Chakotay couldn’t help but grin when he heard it. There was nothing that could phase her, it seemed, and that was only one of the reasons he admired her so much. He watched his Captain ready herself to step into the room, which seemed frozen in time and space, and fell into step behind her. He wished he’d brought a candle with him; the dark was hindering his perception.

Floorboards creaked underfoot as the Captain and First Officer crept inside, wading through the darkness and allowing their eyes to once again adjust to even dimmer surroundings. The walls were lined with old bookcases and shelving units that reached as high as the ceiling, some filled with dusty old books and trinkets, and some covered with sheets that were once white but were now a miserable-looking grey. It was a cluttered room, and various objects were scattered around on the floor or on antique tables, ranging from the clichéd creepy rocking horse to a collection of old teapots. It was too dark to see to the other end of the room clearly, and there were stacks of boxes in the way anyway. A coat stand lay across the floor at an odd angle, a moth bitten old scarf hanging from it. Janeway picked it up and set it against the wall, covering her mouth with her free hand so as not to breathe in the plume of dust that billowed up from the scarf.

_ This is the filthiest holonovel I’ve ever-- _

Janeway’s thought was cut off by a scratching noise cutting through the cold shadows, and she turned her head in the direction it came from, which was just beyond a stack of old wicker furniture that had been piled up behind the coat stand. She motioned for Chakotay to follow it round the corner and shot him a glance which said ‘be careful’ at the same time as telling him to just enjoy the story which was unfolding before them. 

“Hello?” Chakotay asked the void. “Is there someone in here?”

There came no reply, but the first officer pressed on around the corner anyway, careful to voice a box of buttons that had been scattered on the floor, keeping his eyes on them so he didn’t step on any. As he rounded the corner, Chakotay looked up just as he came face to face with the most horrifying pair of eyes he’d ever seen. He took a sharp intake of breath, and felt his heart leap into action. Kathryn put a hand on his arm to reassure him, stifling a noise from her own mouth.

There, staring at Chakotay from an old shelf, were two wide green eyes peering into his soul. They were set into a pale face that was cracked and peeling, framed with golden hair in tight ringlets that fell onto lacy shoulders of a pale blue dress. The doll had arms outstretched, and Kathryn could imagine a child hugging it close to them once, long ago. It was a horrifying little thing, made grotesque by years of neglect. Kathryn looked at the commander, and he looked at her, and they shared an embarrassed but comical smirk between them at having been shaken up by the sight of an old doll.

“Hello, is anyone here?” Chakotay called out a little louder this time.

“Did you hear that!?” Kathryn instinctively reached out for his arm and pulled him in the direction of the very back of the room- to the darkest corner. She’d heard the same scratching sound as before, and what sounded like breathing. Or rather, the kind of breathing someone does when they’re trying not to cry.

“Over here,” whispered Chakotay, plunging into the darkness and in the direction of the noise. 

In the corner there was a strange shape, one that could have appeared to be a ghost if it weren’t so obviously a sheet over the top of something. The breathing noise had stopped, but Chakotay had already locked onto his target. As he crept towards the pale shape in the shadows he was careful to tread softly, careful not to make any sudden movements. Whatever it was under there could be dangerous, and Chakotay did not want to spook it. 

Kathryn watched as her first officer made the last few steps toward the back of the room. She was, in that moment, more interested in watching him than she was in the holonovel’s story playing out. The Captain found herself holding her breath as she saw Chakotay’s hand reach out for the sheet, poised for whatever was about to happen. Strong fingers found the edge of the sheet, and with a sharp yank, Chakotay ripped the sheet upwards with a cloud of dust following it. 

The scream that followed was enough to strike fear into the hearts of a hundred men as it howled through the dusty room. Janeway thought her eardrums were going to burst and she firmly placed her hands over her ears. Gasping, Chakotay felt his heart thumping in his chest. The howl turned into a few short sharp bursts of screaming, and the sheet came to settle on the ground, like a white flag of surrender, revealing what- or rather, who- had been under it this whole time. And in that moment, Kathryn Janeway came to realise three things.

Firstly, it had definitely not been a cat making the noises she had heard before. Second, the house was almost certainly _not_ haunted. And lastly, the Captain realised, with a heavy heart and tired eyes, with a deep-seated longing and with unwavering empathy, that there are some forms of grief that cannot be healed by ignoring the pain. That all that grief, and sorrow, and heartache can make humans do inexplicable things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arrrgh thanks for sticking with me. I don't usually write horror/anything spooky so I'm not sure if it feels like horror or not? Pls leave a comment and let me know what you think! 
> 
> The next chapter will be up soon~


	3. And When It Settles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the horrors of the fourth floor, Janeway and Chakotay are faced with something neither of them is prepared for.

There, covered in smudges of dirt with tear-stained cheeks, sat little Beatrice in her nightgown, shaking with fear and cold and clutching something to her chest as if her life depended on it. When she saw that it was Janeway and Chakotay in the room with her, the girl’s eyes widened and she scrambled to get up from the floor. To her, they were her governess and her father, her family in this holonovel, and not merely starfleet officers. The relief in her face was palpable; whatever had happened to her in that room had clearly petrified her.

“Father!” Beatrice cried out, and jumped up, flinging her arms around Chakotay’s neck.

“Whoa!” Chakotay let out a gasp, almost stumbling over from his crouched position as he caught the child with one hand on her back. He could feel the fear emanating from her, pulsing in her every heartbeat. Consciously, cautiously reminding himself of his role, the first officer held the girl tight and stroked her hair. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. What happened in here?”

It took a brief moment for Janeway to process what was going on, but as soon as she remembered that Chakotay had taken on the role of Lord Burleigh in this holonovel, the only questions she had left were around figuring out why and how the young girl had been in here all alone. And more importantly, why she was so frightened. There was relief, though, in the knowledge that it hadn’t been a ghost or some other sinister thing under the sheet. And aside from all that, there was another feeling- something that stirred in the pit of her stomach as she watched Chakotay comforting the girl. A feeling that Kathryn couldn’t quite put her finger on just yet. The Captain shook her head to clear the thoughts, and kneeled next to Chakotay and Beatrice.

“Beatrice, you’re safe now. Can you tell us what happened?” Janeway asked, her brow furrowed. She noticed that in the girl’s hand was clutched a string of pearls with an ivory cameo attached at the pendant. Kathryn figured it must belong to Beatrice’s mother, Burleigh’s late wife. There must have been so many memories attached to that necklace, and indeed to a lot of the things in this old, dusty room. A room that had gone untouched for a long time. A room that, now Kathryn thought about it, must have been filled with everything that reminded Burleigh of his wife- hidden away from view. Everything that might make him think of her and remember she was gone. Everything that two young children who missed their mother might want to hold.

“I was sleeping,” Beatrice sniffed, her little hands shaking. The pearls rattled in her grasp and made a tiny clacking noise that was just barely audible. “Sleeping. But also w-walking. And I woke up in this room. And I… was f-frightened. I’m sorry, father, I know we’re not to be in here. I’m sorry- I’m so sorry!” She burst into tears again, pressing her face into Chakotay’s shoulder.

“Hey, now,” the commander hushed the crying girl. He stood up, lifting Beatrice with him, and watched as his Captain stood as well. “It’s okay. You were sleepwalking, it seems. You don’t need to be sorry. I’m not angry. It must have been really scary to wake up in here by yourself, I know I would be afraid. But how was the door locked behind you?”

Beatrice shifted in Chakotay’s arms to extend her arm and unclench her little fist, revealing that on one end of the pearl necklace was a beautifully ornate silver key. She didn’t say a word, just stared at the object in her outstretched hand. Janeway and Chakotay looked at it too, then at each other, then both at the crying child.

“Alright. I can tell you’re tired. I want you to know you can always talk to me, or Miss Davenport, whenever you’re feeling sad about your mother. But for now… Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Chakotay said, purely guessing at what a father was supposed to do in a situation like this. He held Beatrice close and then gave Janeway a look over the girl’s shoulder as if to ask ‘ _i_ _s this right?_ ’

Giving Chakotay a wry grin and a slight nod was all the Captain needed to do to assure him that it was indeed the correct course of action. Not that she had any more experience in parenting than he did, but she’d gotten to know these characters throughout the course of this holonovel, and she knew that all Beatrice really needed was some love, some reassurance, and some goddamn boundaries. Janeway followed behind, smiling empathetically at the child as they made their way out of that room on the fourth floor that had been off limits all this time, locked up and abandoned. Ignoring the memory of Lady Burleigh was not going to make Beatrice’s or her father’s life any easier, and Janeway knew that addressing grief head on was the only way to really make it bearable. With time, anyway. As they left, Kathryn made sure to leave the door unlocked behind her.

By the time the three of them had made it down to the second floor where the children’s bedroom was, Beatrice had stopped crying and was resting her head sleepily on Chakotay’s shoulder. Captain Janeway felt that same feeling again, the one in her stomach that made her sigh and tugged the corners of her mouth into a small smile. She watched as Chakotay put Beatrice into bed and they tucked her in together, sitting either side of her as if they were her real parents. Across the room, little Henry was fast asleep, breathing softly and peacefully in his quiet slumber.

“Now, promise me if you want to look at your mother’s things, next time we will go upstairs together. And we should take a light, because it’s very dark and we wouldn’t want to trip over something.”

“I promise, father,” Beatrice whispered, pulling her covers up to her nose so that only her eyes and forehead were visible above it. 

Janeway realised it must have been strange for this young girl to have her father be so gentle and caring towards her. In this era it was unheard of for any father, least of all a Lord, to have anything to do with looking after the children. A drastically different era to the one Janeway was used to. Kathryn could tell that Beatrice liked having him close, though. And she knew how important it would be for the final chapters of this holonovel for them to have a good relationship. If this wasn’t a ghost story after all, but a reflection of the breakdown of a family unit after bereavement, then Miss Davenport’s romance with Lord Burleigh meant she would have to tread carefully around her role in the house. A second wife and a stepmother- not a replacement for either, and certainly not there to act as therapist. But with nurturing and learning and growth, Kathryn could picture just how this life would go for the characters she had developed such a fondness for. She wondered, perhaps, if the version in her head might be better than reality. Maybe this would be her last visit to this particular holonovel, if she wanted that happy ending to feel real.

Leaning forward to stroke Beatrice’s hair away from her face, Kathryn offered the young girl another gentle smile. 

“In the morning we’ll have whatever you like for breakfast, okay? Anything you want at all. And we’ll all eat together.”

“Even Mrs Templeton?”

“Especially Mrs Templeton. She too needs to be reminded that we’re all family here.”

“Are you our family too, then, Miss Davenport?”

“Yes, Beatrice. Yes, I think I am,” Kathryn replied, feeling a wave of emotion crash over her. It took hold in her chest, her breath catching in her throat a little. 

Chakotay noticed this, and instinctively went to reach out for her hand, but stopped himself in front of the child. Instead, he gave her a look which said ‘ _you are **my** family too _’, and vowed to say it to her properly once they were alone.

The Captain bent forward to kiss Beatrice on the forehead, and as she sat up again she saw that the girl’s eyes were beginning to close. After a few moments of both Kathryn and Chakotay watching the girl drifting off to sleep, they looked at each other across the bed. As their eyes met, Janeway became aware once more of that same feeling she’d had since she first saw Beatrice clinging to Chakotay. There, in the pit of her stomach, was an ache that she had ignored for so long. But seeing Chakotay in a tender moment, watching him care for this helpless, frightened girl as if he were her real father, made Kathryn utterly and hopelessly in awe of him- in admiration, or even love. She sighed as she looked at him, resting her chin in her hand for a moment. He smiled back at her, almost incredulous at what they’d just done together. Then Kathryn jerked her head toward the door; it was time to go.

They rose from the edge of the bed, leaving the two children sound asleep, and headed out to the corridor. As they got to the door, both of them found themselves pausing to turn and look back into the children’s bedroom. There was a feeling in the air- a sense of pride. And ultimately, a feeling of family. It may have been pure fiction, but there was something so tantalisingly real about them playing out this story together. The boundary between Lord and governess mirrored the boundary between Captain and First Officer. Caring for the children felt like caring for their crew. It was nothing new to them, after all. 

Chakotay took Kathryn’s hand in his own, which was the sign she needed to stop staring at the sleeping children and close the door behind her. He squeezed her hand and pulled her in close. The commander knew exactly what she was thinking, and he felt the same. As her head came to rest against his chest, Chakotay stroked her hair as she had done with Beatrice, and kissed the top of her head. 

It would have been a lie to say Kathryn was surprised he kissed her head, so she chose not to react to it. She focused on her breathing, on trying not to let her emotions take over. Kathryn’s hands were flat against Chakotay’s back, and his arms were encircling her now. She felt the relief of safety wash over her. Everything had been so wrought with panic and fear, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to separate herself from the fact it wasn’t her life at all, just a story. And juxtaposed with the tenderness of Chakotay and how she longed for him to really be hers like Davenport was Burleigh’s, all Kathryn wanted to do in that moment was hold him tight for as long as they could get away with. 

After a few moments, Chakotay stepped back slightly, taking Janeway’s chin in his hand. 

“We did pretty good, for first time parents,” he joked. “You okay?”

“Oh, fine. Just… You forget how much these things can affect children. Losing a parent. In this case it was enough to summon a ghost. A haunting of grief. And then, well, there’s you and me. And this-” she gestured to him touching her chin. “I don’t know if this can follow us back onto the ship, Chakotay.”

“I know,” he whispered, his proud smile faltering for a second. “What happens on the holodeck, stays on the holodeck.”

“Absolutely,” agreed Kathryn. “That is the most sensible course of action.”

“Well, in that case--”

Chakotay moved his hand to her cheek, bringing his other hand up to the opposite side, leaning close and kissing her wholly, fully, with every ounce of passion and love and admiration he had within him. He felt her pause in surprise, and then melt into the kiss. He felt her hands on his back pulling him close. He felt her tongue on his- something he had longed for since he first saw her. The very first time- even then- he had imagined knowing her in this way. Chakotay’s lips danced against their partner’s, as if they had already learned this waltz a thousand years before. And rightly so, with the number of times he’d played this kiss in his mind. 

There was an innocence about this first meeting of lips that Kathryn was taken aback by. She felt her heart race into it, adrenaline coursing through her far more than when she’d entered that room on the fourth floor. And yet, underneath all that innocence was a stroke of something altogether more desirous. She kissed him back fervently, until she was gasping for air and had to pull back from him. 

“Definitely stays on the holodeck,” she blurted, wide-eyed but still craving more.

“Aye, Captain.”

With that agreement, the pair of them headed back down the stairs, hand in hand, imagining all the things that a Lord and Lady could do in their manor that a Captain and First Officer couldn’t do on a starship. Stepping synchronously, hands tightly interlocked, eyes casting to the side now and again to meet and gaze at one another, they laughed. They laughed at how far they’d come. They laughed at how little they’d explored of one another. They laughed that this had somehow, against all odds, become their little world. And as they relished in their moment with playful nudges and furtive glances, they knew they would always have this place. Kathryn and Chakotay walked back into the drawing room, where the open fire roared and greeted them with a warm, flickering glow, and the rug was soft and inviting, and the night was endless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the purest thing I've ever written omg. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my interpretation of Janeway Lambda One! If you enjoyed this and would like some more Gothic Horror goodness, please see the next fic in this series where Janeway and Chakotay immerse themselves in a holonovel adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula! Enjoy~


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